Timna Update Saturday 12/5/2009 9:30-ish am Eastern

Posted by p337 12/05/09
From my sister in law: (This will take several posts) I am learning something in my middle age, that God hears our prayers of dispair,

of anger, of imperfect faith. We are all His children, not His rational adults.

Despite God knowing that in my heart, I have doubts, I will continue to pray...

Heavenly Father, what a beautiful, fun soul you created in Timna. Her body is so broken now.

Pls gently pick her up, cradle her in your arms, touch her and heal her and set her back here with her family and friends.

I know I shouldn't tell you what to do, dear God, but PLEASE heal her and don't take her from us yet. AMEN.

Me again *sniff* just asking for continued prayer for a miracle.
Timna Update Saturday 12/5/2009 9:30-ish am Eastern

Timna's condition is basically unchanged except her fever is gone. She is getting dialysis right now. I haven't spoken with anyone but the nurse so far.

I am very scattered.

I find my mind tracing each future possibility and doing advance grieving or praising as the future possibilities warrant. I can't help it. It must be an offshoot of my problem solving nature. Today it hinders my functioning in reality. I left my cell phone at home and my brother is retrieving it for me. There is a nagging feeling that I forgot something else important. Someone will probably say this is a natural part of the grieving process but I don't want to be here. Dear Lord, I don't want to be in this state of mind. Your presence has sustained me. Restore your peace to me. Your strength.

Timna Update Friday 12/4/2009 3:45-ish pm Eastern

Timna went down to have another CAT scan this morning and they told me the swelling of the brain was no better or worse than it was yesterday.

She is now getting dialysis.

The doctors met with me and her parents. After an introduction of a few consultants we had not met a letter from of concern was mentioned. I guess that is why the Administrative director of Patient Services was involved. (I know who sent the letter but he or she may not want to be known.) Well after an almost defensive summary the neurologist said there is no hope of Timna being the same person if she survives at all. She may not have meant to sound like a 'pull the plug and move on' doomsayer but that was the sense I got.

I was already devastated yesterday so today I handled myself a little more stoically. Just a little.

 Basically all the medical team there agreed with her diagnosis, but not with the same callousness. So there doesn't seem to be a medical solution for Timna. They will do all they can to prevent cerebral hemorrhage and to get the swelling to go down if possible but the general consensus was that the Timna I know and love would not be there.

The doctors will not give up but they feel they are fighting a losing battle.

My faith extends beyond medicine.

Way beyond!

Timna's Update Friday 12/4/2009 9:00-ish am Eastern

Timna is in a battle. She did not get the surgery yesterday due to increased swelling of her brain (cerebral edema). Her CAT scan did not show any of the lobe definition that was present in her previous scans. The doctor's reported to her parents and me that there was a good chance she would not make it. She will be rescanned today.

I was devastated.

I asked the doctors to think if there was anything else that could be done to (a.) reverse the edema progression and (b.) control the peritonitis until she was strong enough for surgery.

Dr. Semechek (sp?) said he was doing everything he knew to reduce the swelling and would consult with Dr. Margolis to see if any dialysis changes would help more than what was being done now. Dr. Gordon said he was hitting Timna with broad range antibiotics as well as targeted antibiotics for known pathogens.

I did what I could to let everyone that prayer was needed. I'm sorry I was unable to go into detail last night. (Which was Thursday, by the way, just in case you were confused by my lack of calendar acuity.)

This morning,  three times Timna roused only slightly when I held her hand and spoke to her. Just enough for me to see her breathing rate increase, her eyes move under her eyelids and for her mouth to close. She quickly went back to a deeper sleep each time.

I restarted the music for her to listen to.

My cousin e-mailed me and encouraged me this morning by her words of encouragement and by inadvertently making me think on a saying by George Eliot.

"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other"  -- George Eliot

I disagree with George Eliot.

I would rephrase him by saying:

"What do we live for, if it is not to love God and to love one another as God loves us."

Due to this experience I have a fresh view of love from God and from so many who have supported me.

Please pray with me not only for Timna but for Ken who is in a similar status here and for an elderly woman named Iran. The families of Ken and Iran have been together with me in encouraging one another and praying for our loved ones.

Again: God can do what no doctor ever can.

Timna's Update Wednesday 12/3/2009 10:45-ish am Eastern

I've been given the schedule after 3 1/2 hours of waiting. The CAT scan I was led to believe would be early morning is scheduled for 5pm. This will coincide with surgery availability. Timna will get dialysis some time prior to that.

The cooling blanket has been restarted. Her temperature rose.

The temperature of the body is regulated by neural feedback mechanisms which operate primarily through the hypothalmus. The hypothalmus contains not only the control mechanisms, but also the key temperature sensors. - http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/thermo/heatreg.html

If Timna has edemal pressure on the hypothalamus it is essentially short circuiting the temperature controls.

Today's nurse is tight lipped so obtaining any information requires excessive effort.

I will try to nap a bit today as we wait.


Timna's Update Wednesday 12/3/2009 8:15-ish am Eastern

Many of you have written yesterday and last night. I'm sorry I haven't replied individually. Please accept this corporate reply of thanksgiving. You encourage me and give me wisdom in this trying time. Wisdom I wish... I wish I had never needed. Thank you.

Timna's temperature has come down enough overnight that they have removed the cooling blanket but the machine still sits there in readiness. Her temp at last taking was 38.4c 101.1f.

Her blood pressure, while up in an acceptable range, is being supported by medication. She is breathing evenly without fighting against the respirator like she was yesterday. I pray that that is not because she just wore herself out fighting it.

The ICU staff are trying to schedule things so that she won't have to make separate trips out of her room for the CAT scan and surgery but instead have the CAT scan read with surgery on immediate standby. I don't have any times yet. Another dialysis is also ordered for today which may be performed prior to the above since dialysis would be beneficial in reducing the fluid buildups and the fever.

I hope I find out before things happen this time. I suppose that if they were great communicators they would be in politics or journalism instead of medicine.

I will try to update all the prayer forces as soon as I find things out.